Saturday, March 7, 2009

Simple Solutions: Improve Your Groove

I recently heard that there is a significant correlation between spouses interactions the first five minutes they see each other during the day and the success of their relationship. Basically, how you treat your spouse when s/he or you gets home from work is predictive of the quality of that relationship. What this means is that there is a great opportunity to learn about your relationship and improve it. Instead of getting right to business when your spouse or significant other gets home, it is more effective to give them some affection and positive attention. When John, my significant other, gets home, I immediately give him a hug and a kiss and ask about his day. He also asks me about my day. I do this no matter what business has to be attended to, and we have had plenty of business to attend to since the custody battle for his ten year old who I refer to as M. By starting our interactions in a positive way, it sets a positive tone for the rest of the night. Try it for a couple weeks and test the theory for yourself!


  1. I completely agree with this idea. You will find that often times people will come home stressed and dump all of their frustrations out on their partner, ruining the mood for the rest of the evening. Most times we just need to relax and leave all that stress at the door.

  2. How does a person handle a significant other who isn't willing to start the evening on a positive note? No one wants to come home to more stress but how do you encourage your significant other to play the positive game?

  3. If your partner is stuck in the "all business mode", it might be good to just discuss with them the purpose of the positive five minutes. Remind them that it is only five minutes and that the business will be addressed later.


Comments very welcome and appreciated!!